Jellyfish
by Misila
Summary: "He had written out a perfect route so they could enjoy both the exhibits in the aquarium and the marine mammals show, flawlessly summarised in the Ideal; but if there was a person with the right to turn his plan upside-down it was Dazai."


_**Jellyfish**_

.

The sea breeze brushed his cheeks with a salty kiss, tangling in his hair and blowing it off his face. Sand coloured fabric curled around long legs as brown eyes looked around, half intrigued, half full of an emptiness that threatened to devour anyone that stared into them for too long.

Kunikida had already learnt to resist its hunger; it didn't mean he wasn't wary of that gaze that was both sharp and tired, but he wanted to believe his understanding was improving, as well as his skills to deal with it until the desperation subdued to a point where Dazai could manage it by himself.

Despite his conscientious notes, carefully studied throughout a night the bandaged arms wrapped around him hadn't allow Kunikida to sleep a wink, he wasn't completely sure his idea had been the best; but even if it didn't help, he reasoned, he would rather have Dazai by his side, frustrated and angry with life itself, than knocking on his dorm to find his partner hanging from a beam again.

"How attentive," Dazai commented, voice still hoarse. Beneath the bandages covering his neck the marks of the rope remained, but he had wrapped a scarf around his throat to make it look like a cold. "Where are we going first?" he asked, glancing briefly at Kunikida before pointing at the most noticeable attractions. "The roller-coaster? The drop tower?"

Kunikida cleared his throat. "Actually, I had planned to go to the aquarium."

"That's boring," Dazai replied. "If you're scared of heights, the merry-go-round is quite harmless––" He took a step towards the attractions, but Kunikida grabbed his wrist before he could make it further. Dazai looked at him again. "Don't tell me you actually like roller-coasters."

Kunikida opened his mouth, paused and closed it again. He had written out a perfect route so they could enjoy both the exhibits in the aquarium and the marine mammals show, flawlessly summarised in the _Ideal_ ; but if there was a person with the right to turn his plan upside-down it was Dazai.

He was the sole reason Kunikida had thought this out in the first place, anyway.

"Alright," he finally muttered, looking aside. He looked into Dazai's eyes after a few seconds again, though, surprised by his partner's utter stillness. "What?"

Dazai blinked his shock away. "Don't you have a plan to follow or something?"

Kunikida let go of his wrist.

"I do," he admitted, "but this was a surprise for you, so I guess it's fine." He could see a smile slowly twitching up the corners of Dazai's lips, eyebrows getting close and carving a contented, frankly endearing frown; his ears burnt against the sea breeze. "Stop making that face."

"I've changed my mind," Dazai announced. "Let's stick to your plan."

Bewildered, Kunikida could barely follow his partner; and he suspected the main reason he could walk at all was Dazai's hand tugging at his as they approached the building.

"Uh, Dazai," he called, but for once the reason wasn't telling him to let go of his hand in public, "are you alright?"

Dazai glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm alive," he answered quietly; even though he was the one who _had_ slept, dark rings clung to his eyes, "but it's sort of bearable, right now."

The fingers intertwined with Kunikida's pressed hard enough to hurt.

.

Once Kunikida bought the tickets and they stepped into the aquarium, a blue darkness enveloped them; only the occasional excited cry of a child broke the silence that spread across the building. Dazai approached the seals' tank first and then stopped by the penguins, but apparently wasn't interested enough in them to stay long.

Upon looking around, Kunikida, who had gotten caught up with the sea otters and their slippery, serpentine movements, found him before a high pane, large enough to be supported by several pillars. Dazai seemed completely enthralled as he followed the school of fish with his gaze, the light painting his face pale along with the shadows of the colourful animals swimming before them.

"There's a shark," he informed. "And manta rays."

Kunikida scanned the tank, but he only saw the rays, gliding close to the glass with their smiling abdomen.

"Where's––"

"Behind the rocks." Dazai grabbed Kunikida's hand, used it to point at where, effectively, a pointed noise peeked out; a child who had heard them trotted away, most likely to tell his parents. "Why is he hiding?" Dazai mused, tilting his head. "I mean, he could easily eat every fish here."

"Maybe he's not hungry," Kunikida suggested, leaning his chin on Dazai's shoulder. As if trying to prove them wrong, the shark moved then; Kunikida jumped back, startled, kneed the back of Dazai's thigh when he noticed the tremors running down his back in silent laughter.

"Don't worry, he's not going to eat you, Kunikida-kun."

Kunikida's free hand circled Dazai's waist to bring him close, resting his head close to his partner's.

"Shut up," he muttered. "And it's a she, by the way."

He felt Dazai's curious gaze on him as the shark drew lazy circles around the tank, getting closer to the surface little by little.

"How do you know?"

Kunikida smirked. "Look it up when we get home."

"Oh, come on, that's not fair," Dazai whined, looking at the shark again. He shook Kunikida's hand, laced with his, then pressed it against his stomach. "Is it the colour?"

"No."

"The teeth? Maybe males have longer ones?"

"You can't even see her teeth from here."

"Maybe you can with your glasses."

Kunikida rolled his eyes. "No, I can't."

"Then… The tail?"

"No. But you're getting closer."

Dazai's frown deepened in concentration, and it occurred to Kunikida that he had unintentionally stumbled upon the perfect revenge for the earlier teasing.

"The fins?"

Kunikida sighed, pressed a kiss to the line of Dazai's jaw. "If we want to stick to the plan we better keep going."

He tugged at Dazai's hand towards the stairs that went through the tank they had just been watching, bit his lower lip to supress a smile at his partner's complaints.

"You are just trying to distract me so I don't find out, aren't you?"

.

Even though they were technically sticking to Kunikida's schedule –not that he could check often with Dazai dragging him from one exhibit to another–, visiting the aquarium with Dazai had still that pleasantly messy feel most of the time they spent together did. Dazai's interest came and went as if in waves; he would pass the crabs without a second glance, then walk back three hallways to stare at their sideways pacing.

It was hard to tell whether he was humouring Kunikida or he was actually enjoying himself; but at times his mouth would fall open, his tired eyes reflecting the lights as he watched the animals' demeanour in silence. Sometimes he stopped to read the information given about them, and he spent the whole minute they looked at the hammerhead poking his finger into Kunikida's side so he revealed the secret to know a shark's sex.

Kunikida would consider himself lucky just knowing the time Dazai spent looking at the animals he was distracted from everything else; as they stopped to admire the jellyfish, his grey gaze wandered down the cheeks tinted purple before the translucent animals, at least until Dazai glanced at him.

"I bet the jellyfish are more interesting than me," he teased, but there was no bite in his voice.

There were no children running around them; most kids were still watching the whale shark or had grown bored of such simple animals long ago. The people around barely made any noise, steps silent against the carpeted floor; it was almost like actually being deep into the sea.

"Probably," Kunikida agreed, thumb caressing the back of Dazai's hand, absentmindedly slipping beneath a white strip.

Dazai's gaze wandered back to the jellyfish. "They have it so easy," he muttered, voice tinged with envy. "Not thinking or worrying–– they don't even have a brain; all they need to be happy is food."

Kunikida looked at their intertwined hands, barely aware his shoulders slumped down. Defeat filled his mouth, leaving a bitter taste on his tongue.

"Well, they don't know how to tell a shark's sex either," he mumbled, too exhausted to think of a better reply.

The kiss caught him off guard, dry lips pressing against his as Dazai's free hand cupped his cheek. Kunikida could only close his eyes, nearly feeling the pressure of the whole sea against his eardrums as a violet glow filtered through his lids.

"Kunikida-kun." Dazai's voice reached his brain muffled, as if they were truly underwater; Kunikida opened his eyes to an unusually serious expression that –be it the light, be it a trick of his imagination– wasn't as dull as when they had entered the aquarium, long fingers holding his chin. "I promise I'm having a good time."

 _But it's not enough_ , Kunikida almost heard in the silence that followed, bit his tongue to not state it himself. Trying to come to terms with it was already hard enough.

"Really?"

Dazai frowned, looked aside. "Well, it'd be even better if you stopped playing hard to get and told me how you knew that shark was a female."

A sigh left Kunikida's lips. The sound started frustrated and died resigned.

"Aren't you so clever? Use your brain."

Dazai pouted. "But I don't have one. I'm actually a jellyfish."

Kunikida muffled his laughter with the back of his hand, praying nobody scolded them.

It was enough, he told himself. His plan had succeeded, in a way; he couldn't hope for more than that.

.

They left the aquarium later than planned; Kunikida knew it as soon as he looked at his watch. They watched the marine mammals show from afar, Dazai complaining about how only children were allowed to touch the animals during the exhibition before suggesting a visit to the dolphinarium.

Afterwards they spent a good half an hour at the souvenir shop; Dazai had decided he wanted to keep something to remember the day. Even though his tone was strangely wistful, he seemed to mean it.

Kunikida considered buying a notebook, even though he already had the _Ideal_ ; he liked them. He forgot all about it, however, when Dazai approached him and showed what he wanted to buy.

Kunikida made sure to keep at least one metre between Dazai and him when they walked out of the shop.

"You aren't a child," he huffed at Dazai's cheerful humming. Brown eyes drifted down to the plushie in his arms, nearly half his size.

"Then why did you pay for the sea cow?" he teased.

An exasperated sigh abandoned Kunikida's lips. "Dazai, for the sixth time, that's not a sea cow."

"It's black and white and lives in the sea," Dazai reasoned, "what's the difference?"

"Sea cows are what people call manatees."

"Well, manatees aren't cows either."

Kunikida gave up.

Dazai's unwillingness to call Commerson's dolphins by their name wasn't important, anyway. His voice was still raspy and there were still bags under his eyes, but Kunikida was realising now how much he had missed these annoying exchanges since Dazai's umpteenth thwarted suicide attempt.

"We should bring Atsushi-kun next time," Dazai mused, and it was only then that Kunikida realised he was right beside him, carrying the toy under his arm. "I bet he'd like it."

He was smiling, eyes almost bright, and Kunikida forgot about kicking him to keep the distance and some semblance of dignity.

"Sure." His fingers drifted around Dazai's by themselves. "Next time."

He liked how that sounded.

* * *

 _Author's notes_ : Happy Valentine's day!

Now: Kunikida did, indeed, try to distract Dazai from figuring out how to tell the shark's sex; if you're curious, the male's pelvic fins are modified to form claspers that act like penises; it's quite visible.

Thoughts? Rocks? Comments? ^^


End file.
